


An Inconvenient Road Trip

by Beyondspareoom, HungryCanadian



Series: Inconvenient Crossroads [4]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition, Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: 90's AU, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Road Trip, F/F, F/M, Modern Era
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-19
Updated: 2018-01-01
Packaged: 2018-12-17 04:21:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 17,761
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11843829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beyondspareoom/pseuds/Beyondspareoom, https://archiveofourown.org/users/HungryCanadian/pseuds/HungryCanadian
Summary: The Canadian 90's road trip AU that no one asked for.





	1. Chapter 1

Amira groaned loudly as she fell face first onto her couch. The world was immediately muffled as she was swallowed up by the overstuffed pillows. This was it, she was just going to lay here and wait for herself to be absorbed into the couch.

The couch shifted slightly beside her as another body joined her on the sofa. “Hey Mira.” A quiet singsong voice said beside her. “What has you so down in the dumps?”

“Why are you here? You don’t even live here.” Amira said flopping slightly so that she could look directly at Leliana. 

Leliana just scoffed and flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Please. Now answer the question, what’s got you down?”

Amira sighed dramatically and rolled onto her back to stare at the ceiling. “I’m in love with Cullen.”

“Ok…” Leliana said waiting for her to continue.

“That’s… that’s it.” Amira said frowning and turning to look at Leliana, confused by her lack of reaction. 

“Oooooh, you mean you didn’t realize until right now?” Leliana asked her eyes widening.

“No! I realized it about thirty minutes ago when I was on the phone with Cullen.”

The sound of a rather high pitched shriek drew both of the girls attention as Josephine came barreling into the room. She jumped into the other end of the couch where Leliana was sitting partially landing on her. 

“Ooof.” Leliana grunted at the sudden weight. 

“You finally figured it out?! Tell. Us. Everything!” Josephine said excitedly.

“Well we were on the phone- Hey! What do you mean I ‘finally figured it out?’” Amira said doing air quotes.

“Well…” Leliana hedged. “It _was_ pretty obvious…”

“Oh my god… this is so embarrassing.” Amira said covering her face with a pillow.

“Don’t be embarrassed. Spill!” Josephine said reaching over and grabbing her pillow. Amira sighed once again and continued. 

“I was talking to Cullen on the phone and he said if his hockey game went well the Swedish team would offer him a spot, and that he would probably take it! Once he said that it was like something clicked in my brain. I just… knew that I loved him.”   
  
“What did he say when you told him?” Leliana asked.

“I couldn’t! He ran out of change on his pay-phone.” Amira said her eyes watering. “Now he’s going to move to dumb Sweden and marry a girl that’s an appropriate height and have like a hundred blonde babies!”

“I’m so sorry! Amira that is horrible! It’s ok, we’ll find you someone better. Someone who is an appropriate height for  _ you _ .” Josephine smiled as if she had just found the solution to Y2K.

“No!” Both Amira and Josephine looked at Leliana in surprise. “The Swedes already took the Olympic Gold Medal from us, they are not going to take your beautiful blonde boy!” Leliana sprang up and started pacing in the middle of the living room. “You need to tell him how you feel!” Leliana declared.

Both of the girls stared at Leliana not quite comprehending what she was saying. 

“You mean like try and send him a fax?” Amira asked not quite comprehending.

“I think his pager might be more effective.” Josephine supplied thoughtfully.

“What? No! This is _love_ you guys. It needs to be epic! You need to tell him, in person, and we need to go, like, five minutes ago.”   
  
“As if.” Amira scoffed. “I can barely afford peanut butter, how the heck am I going to afford a plane ticket to Toronto?”

“We’re not going to fly.”   
  
“We?” Amira asked looking at Josephine confused, who just shrugged in response.

“Cassandra!” Leliana shouted.

A few moments later Cassandra, Amira’s second roommate, came plodding into the room. Her hair was in disarray, and her rattail was a mess. She had clearly just been woken up. 

“Cassandra I need to you drive us all to Toronto.”   
  
“Ugh! You could not pay me to do this. Do not wake me up with such a frivolous idea ever again.” With that Cassandra started to pad out of the room, most likely to go back to bed. 

“It’s for love!” Josephine blurted out. Cassandra stopped and turned to look at the group, squinting slightly. “Amira finally realized she’s in love with Cullen and now she has to tell him before he marries a Swede.”   
  
Cassandra continued to stare at them. “Pack your bags, we leave in five minutes.”   
  
Leliana let out a whoop and ran out the room returning a second later with a fully packed duffle bag. “Ok, I’m ready.” She looked at Amira, Cassandra and Josephine who were all staring at her confused. “ _ Come on _ . We need to go!”

Josephine and Amira bolted out the room to go pack, Cassandra followed behind them slightly slower. Muttering to herself. “She doesn't even live here… where was she even storing that?”


	2. Chapter 2

In the end the group was packed and ready to leave in fifteen minutes flat, with Leliana tapping her foot impatiently all the while. “Well, I’m sorry we don’t all have go bags stashed and waiting.” Amira had muttered crossly, trying not to freak out about, well…  _ everything.  _

Amira tried not to cringe at the sight of Cassandra’s van. Cassandra had bought the van secondhand, a holdover from the seventies and it looked it. It really was an eyesore. When Cassandra had bought it she had only looked at the driver's side and had failed to look at the right side of the van. As a result she had missed the rather… colourful art on the other side. While Amira liked unicorns and wolves as much as the next person. The psychedelic colouring that went with it didn’t really do it for her. Painting over the mural, for lack of a better word, hadn’t worked either. Whatever crazy sealant the last owner had used on the van seemed to repel the stuff, and so Cassandra had been stuck with the Lisa Frank-mobile.

After driving for the better part of seven hours Leliana finally demanded that they pull over in Nelson.

“Why are we stopping here?” Amira asked confused, anxiously pulling at her stretchy black choker. “We need to get to Toronto before Cullen’s game. We should drive through the night in shifts.”

“Take a chill pill Amira. His game isn’t for a week. We have time. Beside’s I have a friend who lives here. Cassandra, turn right at the next stoplight and you should see a driveway just ahead. Pull in there.” Leliana said pointing.

“How does Leliana know someone out here?” Amira asked Josephine conspiratorially. Josephine shrugged and made a hand gesture that had more or less come to mean ‘It’s Leliana, who the fuck knows’ in their group.

“Just because you’re both sitting in the back doesn't mean I can’t hear you.” Leliana called out. 

Cassandra pulled to stop in front of an old house. All of the lights were out in front of it. 

“I don’t think anyone is home.” Josephine said nervously as she climbed out of the back of the van. Amira nodded in agreement as she followed her out.

“You worry too much Josie. Everything is going to be fine.” Without even hesitating Leliana opened the front door of the house and walked it.

“Well I do supposed that they knew we were coming if they left the front door unlocked.” Josephine said relaxing slightly.

Cassandra snorted at her comment. “This is Canada. Everyone leaves their doors unlocked here.”

“Plus I think Lils can pick locks just by touching them.” Amira added, slinging her duffle bag over her shoulder. 

Josephine paled slightly at their comments. “Perhaps this is a bad idea? I don’t want to get in trouble with the authorities. It would be bad for my father and also, I would rather not be deported for breaking and entering.”

“No one is going to deport you Josie.” Amira reassured, patting her on the arm. “We can always dip, and sleep in the van if things get shady. Shadier.”

That seemed to reassure Josephine who nodded and followed Cassandra into the house, Amira not far behind. 

Once inside the house it looked a lot less creepy. Leliana had turned on many of the lights and had made herself comfortable on the couch.

“Dibs on the couch.” Leliana said casually as she dug into a bag of chips that she had most likely taken from the kitchen.

Cassandra just grunted and turned on the tv, flipping to the latest episode of Due South. 

One by one the members of the group dozed off and fell asleep. The tv now playing reruns of Animorphs.

***

Amira jerked awake, immediately aware that something was wrong. She cast a quick glance around the room as relaxed as she took in the four figures slumped over in various degrees of sleep. Amira relaxed and nestled back into the nest that she had created for herself out of some of the blankets she had found in the house.

Suddenly Amira jerked back awake with a shriek. Cassandra bolted upright punching a hole in the wall. Leliana rolled off of the bed onto Josephine who let out a rather loud string of curses in Persian. 

“I can’t believe you kiss your mother with that mouth.” Leliana said rubbing her head. “Amira, what the hell is wrong with you?”

Amira wordlessly pointed at the fourth figure who was sitting at the end of the couch drinking Tim Horton’s out of a large cup with what looked to be a silly straw. “Greetings my friends.” He answered with a grin and a wave. Leliana rolled her eyes.

“This is Zevran. It’s his house.” Leliana announced sounding exasperated before flopping face first back down onto the couch.

“Zev to my friends.” he added, leaning forward like he was letting them in on a secret.

“No one calls you that.” Leliana contradicted into a pillow.

“You wound me!” he moaned, dramatically clutching his heart, somehow without spilling any of his coffee.

“As fun as this catchup is, we really need to be getting back on the road.” Amira needled. She could maybe, admit she was buggin a little more than was maybe necessary, but she’d done the long distance thing once, and it had ended bad for her. She was not going to do that again. Not a chance. Which meant she was going to have to lay her cards on the table  _ before  _ Cullen had sworn himself to any Swedish hell teams. To be fair if he swore himself to a Swedish team, she would probably have to draw a line in the sand regardless of her feelings on LDRs and not date him. She’d rather not be disowned. 

Leliana sighed good naturedly and nodded. “Ok, Zevran thank you for letting us stay here for the night. We’ll see you on the way back.” She said grinning. “I’ll send you a postcard from Toronto.”   
  
Zevran grinned and nodded. He gave Cassandra a very blatant once over. “I would not be opposed to receiving a postcard from you as well.” He winked at Casandra. 

“Ugh, as if.” With that Cassandra gathered her things and ushered Josephine out of the house. 

“Well, thanks for letting us crash here… Zev.” Amira finished awkwardly. Zevran beamed at the nickname.

“I like this one Leliana. If it doesn't work out with your hockey man, may I suggest dating Leliana? She is very bendy.” 

Amira stared at Zevran for a minute and then just turned and walked out of the house without saying a word. Behind her she heard a distinct whack and a yelp as Leliana most likely smacked him upside the head. 

“As if she would be so lucky.” Amira distantly heard Leliana snark. 

Amira climbed into the back of the car, Josephine was sitting upfront with Cassandra this time. She was wearing her glasses and working on a crossword puzzle, absently chewing on the edge of her pen. 

Cassandra started honking her horn in an effort to speed Leliana up. A few moments later she came bounding out of the house carrying an extra bag. 

“What’s in the bag?” Amira asked slightly suspicious. 

“What? Nothing. Shut up.” Leliana responded way to quickly. 

Amira felt both her eyebrows raised. “Right, that  _ totally  _ doesn’t sound suspicious at all.”

Cassandra just rolled her eyes and backed out of the driveway. From the front door Zevran waved dramatically to them. As if they were soldiers going off to war. The drama of the scene was undercut by the fact that Zevran was wear smiley boxers and a Backstreet Boys concert shirt. He was also still sipping coffee out of his silly straw. “How exactly do you know him?” Amira asked, though it was mostly rhetorical.

“Josephine, put down that crossword puzzle, it’s your turn to navigate.” Cassandra ordered throwing a map at her. 


	3. Chapter 3

They were just outside of Lethbridge when they saw her. Pale, grungy, and cranky. As the woman heard them approach she threw up her thumb and stared down their van.

“Ummm should we stop?” Amira asked unsure of how to proceed.

“I don’t see why not?” Cassandra asked. “What’s she going to do rob us? Get us arrested? Somehow derail this who expedition? I could break her in two with my pinky.” 

Amira shrugged, looking to Leliana because that seemed the thing to do. Leliana just seemed like she knew what was up in these sort of situations. When they’d been roommates freshman year Amira had been half convinced Leliana was some kind of secret French spy. At some point she’d ended up deciding that either way it was fine because she was  _ their  _ secret French spy. The feeling made more sense in her head, which was why she’d never tried to explain it. 

“Pull over.” Leliana said shrugging. “We may as well see where she’s headed.”

Cassandra slowed to a stop beside the woman. “Where are you headed?” Cassandra asked bluntly. Leliana rolled her eyes, and Amira bit down on a smile.

“East.” Was the only response they got. The rest of the group exchanged a glance at the woman’s apparent unwillingness to share with them.

“We’re going to Toronto…” Josephine started to respond.

“Very well, that will suffice.” The woman cut in, opening the side door and hopping into the van. She sat down across from Amira and Leliana who were watching her warily. “You may call me Morrigan.” The woman offered.

“I’m Amira and this is-”   


“I don’t care.” 

Amira blinked thrown by the woman’s standoffishness. 

“Morrigan, why are you traveling East? And why are you alone? Judging by your accent you are Australian?” Josephine asked rather confused by the whole situation.

“American, actually. My parents were from Australia, hence the accent. As for your question, I am heading east to be with my boyfriend. He is waiting for me.”   
  
Well now Amira just found that story completely unbelievable. Sure Morrigan was hot, but she highly doubted that she had a boyfriend that was both into her enough to ignore how rude she was,  _ and  _ would make her hitchhike to get to him. This wouldn’t be the first time she had heard a story about a fake Canadian boyfriend. More likely Morrigan was heading East to New Brunswick, the border patrol was less intense there, she could probably hop the border pretty easily to get into the States. Morrigan being an American citizen seemed about as likely as her have a boyfriend. Although she certainly had the manners of an American.

There didn’t seem to be any reason to call her on it though, and instead Amira just nodded, keeping her disbelief to herself.

“How delightful!” Josephine enthused and Amira wasn’t sure if Josie was simply taking Morrigan at face value or if the ambassador had come out to smooth over the obvious tension in the van. It was hard to tell sometimes with Josephine, and also why Amira didn’t play poker with her anymore. Unless Cullen was playing. The last time they’d all played poker Josie had somehow won all the clothes off his back. It had certainly made her own losses worth it.

...okay maybe she should have figured out sooner that she was into Cullen.

“You, driver, I like your rattail.” Morrigan said speaking to Cassandra. 

Cassandra grinned. “Really? Tha-”

“No it’s a horrible abomination, you need to get rid of it. As soon as possible.” Morrigan responded. Amira was torn between calling Morrigan out on her rudeness and agreeing with her. The rattail was awful and they’d all been trying to get Cassandra to cut for as long as they’d known her.

“Okay.” Leliana said cutting in and reaching over the seats that divided the front of the van from the back. “Let’s just listen to some music and maybe not talk for a while.” Boyz II Men came blaring out of the stereo. 

As the group sat there some of them stewing, some of them not caring, and some of them just trying to enjoy the music, Amira had a feeling that this adventure had just gotten a lot more interesting.


	4. Chapter 4

“For the love of Christ just pick a place!” Morrigan groaned from the back of the van.

“I will not  _ just pick a place _ .” Cassandra retorted sounded scandalized. “This is my van and we will stop to eat where I please.”

Morrigan let out another sound of frustration and started to bang her head on the back of the passengers seat where Amira was sitting. 

They had arrived in Moose Jaw about a half hour ago and had been driving around trying to find a suitable place to eat. Cassandra was insistent that they stop somewhere with an all you can eat buffet. In her words she wanted to ‘ _ carb up! _ ’ Whatever that meant. Their newest addition to the group had been less than pleased by this development. 

Amira found herself starting to agree with Morrigan, she was hungry. All she wanted to do was eat a burger or a stake. Something filling.

“There!” Leliana practically launched herself over the divider to point a restaurant. Well, so of.

“Ummm, Leliana… That’s a stripclub.” Josephine said leaning over to get a better look at where she was pointing. 

“Yeah, but see under the neon sign of the mostly naked woman? It says all you can eat buffet! This is what we’ve been waiting for.”

“I’m not sure about this…” Amira muttered. 

“Look we either go to the club or we try and find a 24 hour Timmies. It’s 2 in the morning, everywhere else is going to be closed.”   
  
At this Cassandra veered the van to a hard right and swung them into the parking lot. Turning around to face the rest of the group Cassandra declared. “We are going to eat here. If anyone has a problem with that they can stay in the car.” With that she exited the van and started towards the stripclub.

Amira eyed the neon sign, which spelled Adoribull. “Come on we should probably go in. We don’t want her to get kidnapped or something.”

Morrigan was already out of the van and jogging to catch up with Cassandra. Leliana and Josephine followed Amira. 

“I highly doubt someone could successfully kidnap Cassandra. She’d probably beat the shit out of them first.” Leliana observed.

“I agree, she plays hockey, I’m pretty sure she could crush a man's skull with her thighs.” Josephine added. Amira laughed and followed the group into the club. 

***

Despite the early hour the club was in full swing. It was also unlike any strip club Amira had ever been in, not that she had ever actually been in one to compare it to. It looked different than what she saw in the movies, more brightly lit. Upon entering Cassandra had bypassed everything and had bolted for the buffet. Morrigan not far behind her. 

Amira, Leliana and Josephine on the other hand were waylaid by a finely dressed man. He looked like he should have been in some sort of Bond movie, probably playing the villain. He had both a goatee and a handlebar mustache. It was a lot. 

“Welcome to Adoribull! The man greeted throwing glitter on them. I am Dorian Pavus the owner of this fine establishment. Please take a seat and enjoy the entertainment.”   
  
“Actually, we're just here for the buffet…” Amira tried.

“Of course! And while you’re enjoying our lovely food you can watch the greatest show in all of Canada!”   
  
Amira wasn’t sure if she agreed with that statement. By the looks on Leliana and Josephine faces they weren't inclined to believe Dorian either. 

Nonetheless the three of them made their way over to the buffet table and grabbed as much food as the they could. They then joined Cassandra and Morrigan in the middle of the room where they were sitting. 

They were seated in a row of chairs. All of them facing the front of the room where a large stage was. The plush chairs also had a tiny tray that flipped over the side onto their laps to help balance their plates and drink.

No sooner had the three of them sat down with the others where they accosted by the entertainment. Amira stared hard at her plate willing the rest of the world around her to go away. This was not what she wanted to be doing at 2am on a Wednesday. To her left Josephine was watching the strippers with rapt attention, trying to take in as much of this new experience as she could. 

Leliana was at the end of the row to Amira’s right. She seemed to be more interested in eating until a large shadow fell across them.

“Hey Red, would you like a dance?” A deep voice offered. Amira looked up in shock as a hulk of a man towered over Leliana. He had to be over 200cm tall! He was also missing a few fingers and wore an eyepatch and was dressed like a pirate. Amira wasn’t sure if the eyepatch was part of the costume or real.

“You’re… a stripper?” Leliana asked doubtfully, clearly not buying it. 

“Yup! Names Iron Bull, I’m one of the best. What do you say? I’ll give you a discount to, I’ve got a thing for redheads.” He grinned at that. Although it was by no means a creepy smile. He seemed to just genuinely want to strip for Leliana.  

Leliana sized him up for a moment and then finally shrugged. “Sure, just don’t knock over any of my food.”    
  
“Wouldn’t dream of it Red.” Iron Bull said with a grin. He then got to work.    
  
Amira immediately looked away, not wanting to see any of what was about to happen. Looking past Josephine, Amira watched Morrigan and Cassandra. Morrigan, to her credit seemed to be completely engrossed in her meal, whenever a stripper came  near her, without looking up would announce she had a boyfriend and only wanted to eat. She was really milking that boyfriend excuse, Amira mushed. 

Cassandra though, she was completely engrossed in a conversation with one of the strippers. Amira couldn’t hear exactly what she was saying, but it sounded like she was asking about her workout routine. Amira watched slightly amused as the stripper picked up Cassandra’s plate and moved it to the side, she then lifted up the tray and straddled Cassandra, who was still asking her about her workout regime. The woman leaned over and whispered something in Cassandra’s ear, her eyes widened and she nodded eagerly standing up with the other woman.

“She’s going to show me her workout routine!” Cassandra said excitedly. Together the two woman headed for the back.

Dorian said down in Cassandra’s seat chuckling. “Sparkler, she’s one of the best.” He said grinning. 

The sound of clapping to Amira’s right drew her attention away. Leliana was applauding Iron Bull who seemed to have finished his routine. He gave a deep bow and walked over to Dorian kissing him quickly on the lips before moving on.

“Are you... that close with all of you workers?” Amira asked confused by the display.

Dorian burst out laughing at her question. “Am I- Ha. No, no I am not. The Iron Bull is my partner. He’s the talent and I run the show, do finances, all that good stuff.” Dorian wiped a tear out of the corner of his eye still chuckling. “That was a good one, I’m gonna have to tell him that one later.” Dorian said grinning. 

After that the group feel in the a comfortable silence, listening to Dorian regale them with stories about past clients whose visits had gone awry. Eventually some more guests showed up and Dorian left to attend to them.

It was about twenty minutes after Dorian left that Cassandra finally returned from wherever she had been. There was a slightly shellshocked expression on her face. 

“Yes!” Leliana whooped causing the rest of the party to startle at her excitement. “How on earth did she manage to do that?” Leliana said pointing at Cassandra’s rattial. Or at least the space where the rattail had been. Someone had cut it off.

“About time.” Morrigan muttered.

“I don’t know…” Cassandra said slightly dazed. “I think I might have to switch teams…” She mushed, seemingly unaware of her surroundings. 

“Oh, but Cassandra, you love playing for the Thunderbirds, why on earth would you want to switch?” Josephine asked sounding slightly concerned.

“...Not that team…” Cassandra finally said.

The stripper that Cassandra had disappeared with earlier returned them. She quickly kissed Cassandra on the cheek and passed her a small note. “Call me.” She said grinning cheekily. She then walked away, but not before giving Cassandra a quick smack on her bum. 

Cassandra flushed beet red, but smiled slightly as well. When she caught the rest of the group  grinning at her (sans Morrigan, who was most likely incapable of such a facial moment) her smile disappeared as she sat down. “We will never speak of this again.” 

Despite that, Amira did see Cassandra carefully tuck the piece of paper into her pocket when she thought no one was looking.

Perhaps going to a strip club hadn’t been such a horrible idea after all. 


	5. Chapter 5

Well, they had made it to Winnipeg, which was basically the halfway mark of this whole adventure. Despite everything they were actually making good time. They would most likely make it to Toronto with time to spare, giving Amira plenty of opportunity to talk to Cullen about the fact that she was madly in love with him, and as Morrigan had so kindly put it, ‘fuck like beavers.’

That was beyond the point though. As of right now the group found themselves in a rather seedy bar named The Breach. Leliana had been insistent that they get drinks. Something about fostering camaraderie among the ranks. Amira could understand that, she just couldn’t figure out why Leliana had picked _this_ bar out off all of the ones in the city. It was right at the very edge of town and seemed to be run by a rather mean biker gang that referred to themselves as the Darkspawn. Amira found the whole thing to be a little overdramatic.

Morrigan, on the other hand seemed to be super into it and had somehow finagled her way behind the bar was now mixing drinks for everyone.

Amira spun around slowly on her stool taking in the bar. It looked like a typical bar, the room was heavy with the smell of cigars and cigarettes, the was also a thick fog of smoke in the room. Amira could see that there were tables and booths set up around the room. On the far side there was a door that people kept coming in and out of. Amira would have assumed it was a bathroom but the volume of people coming though seemed to say otherwise, perhaps another entrance.

On the other side of the room there was a pool table where Leliana was hustling some of the Darkspawn. So far they hadn’t figured her out. Yet. Hopefully it would stay that way, at least until they were out of town. Amira didn’t want to be around when they caught on.

Sitting at one of the booths Cassandra and Josephine were discussing something over a pint. Amira smiled as she watched them talk, Josephine spent most of her spare time with Leliana, it was nice to see her hanging out with someone different. Even if that other person was their cranky roommate.

“Are you going to order a drink? Or just take up space here at the bar?” Morrigan asked clearly annoyed at her presence.

Amira rolled her eyes and swung around in her chair. “Tell me about you boyfriend.” Amira challenged.

Morrigan narrowed her eyes and lent over the counter. “He’s bilingual.”  
  
“Most Canadian’s are.” Amira countered flatly.

Morrigan opened her mouth to say something cutting, if her expression was any indication, but was abruptly cut off by shouting from the pool tables. Amira closed her eyes and resisted the urge to rub her temple.

Leliana had been caught hustling the bikers.

Because of course she had.

Leliana didn’t even have the decency to look repentant as the bikers bore down on her and Cassandra (who looked two seconds away from trying to fight her way through all of them, _fuck_.) Josephine stood off to the side, not directly in the action but still too close for Amira’s comfort. Amira moved quickly to her friend’s side, putting herself between Josephine and the bikers. She wasn’t Cassandra by any means, but she’d at least taken a few self defense classes.

“Are they going to kill her?” Josephine asked her eyes wide. Amira opened her mouth to reassure that no of course they wouldn’t, but they kind of looked like they _wanted_ to.

“You took our money! We want it back you dogger!” One of the men shouted at Leliana.

“Fuck off.” Leliana snapped while causally counting her money.

Amira buried her head in her hands. Fuck, they were going to die in fucking Winnipeg. “Stay behind me Josie” Amira said softly, just loud enough for Josephine to hear.

“Enough!” Cassandra said standing between the two. “This is getting us nowhere. Leliana, leave half the money and _let’s go_.”

“Oh I don’t think so. She stole our money, we want it back.”

“I _won_ your money. Besides, we need it for gas” Leliana countered, because apparently she had no fear of death.

“I am sure that we can work out some sort of compromise.” Josephine ever the diplomat said stepping in. Amira resisted the urge to grab her and pull her back out of harm’s way.

The bikers looked at each other, some sort of silent communication seemed to pass between them. Amira had a sinking feeling in her gut, whatever it was that they were about to suggest it wasn’t going to be pretty.

“Follow me.” The one, who was most likely their leader, as he was both the tallest and the ugliest of the group turning and headed for the door that Amira had noticed earlier. The group exchanged a look, unsure what to do. Finally Leliana just shrugged and followed after them, Cassandra, Amira and Josephine not far behind. Morrigan of course stayed behind the bar seeming not to care what happened to them.

The door actually led to a set of stairs that went to the basement. In the basement there was a long hall and at the end of it was a metal door with a speakeasy grate. The leader knocked once and the grate slid open to a deep gravely voice. “Password?”

“Urthemiel.”

The door swung open and the group entered. The room was filled with people and brightly lit. It was crammed to the brim with men and women alike, all of them drunk and shouting. It reeked of sweat, stale alcohol, and possibly blood. In the center of the room was a large cage. Inside of two very large men were beating each other to a pulp as the crowd cheered them on.

“Here’s the deal one of you, whichever one you want, has to fight whomever we choose in that cage. You win, you can have all the money plus whatever winnings you get from bets. You lose, and we keep the money.”

Ok… this actually wasn’t the worst scenario ever. Cassandra was a hockey player now, but she’d been a professional boxer, back in the Ukraine. She’d actually won a few titles before coming to UBC on a boxing scholarship. She’d switched to hockey because she, in her own words, ‘ _had grow tired of punching things_.’

“Very well, I will fight.” Apparently Cassandra had been thinking the same thing.

The man grinned lecherously. “This is gonna be good. Samson, go get Scarface.” A rather sallow looking man nodded and disappeared into the crowd. “As for you, get in the cage.”

Cassandra scoffed and rolled her eyes. She pulled off her coat and walked into the cage while stretching out her arms. Amira, Leliana and Josephine took a seat on one of the benches. Around them people started taking bets.

A minute later Samson returned with another woman. She was probably about 1.5 meters and rather muscular, there was an intense scar on the left side of her face, which would explain the name. The woman was asian and looked to be about there age, what she was doing in an underground cage match Amira had no idea.

The woman entered the cage, and it was immediately locked behind her. “FIGHT!” The gang leader shouted. Around them the crowd roared in excitement.

Cassandra and Scarface immediately started circling each other. Cassandra tried to throw a few punches but the woman dodged them effortlessly. That was, until the woman saw their group. Her eyes widened and she stared slightly open mouthed at them. Amira frowned in confusion and followed her line of sight. Oh, no, she wasn’t staring at them she was staring at Josephine.

Wham! Cassandra punched the woman so hard in the face she fell to the ground. The crowd went wild.

The woman pushed herself back up shaking her head slightly. Once she was on her feet again Cassandra threw another punch. This time she wasn’t so lucky. The woman caught her fist before it landed. The look of shock only lasted a moment before the woman headbutted Cassandra causing her to stumble. The woman then hit Cassandra with two quick blows to the abdomen knocking the wind out of her. Cassandra tried to regain some ground and charged at the woman. She sidestepped her grabbed the back of her head and smashed it into the cage wall. There was a cracking noise as her nose was broken on the bars. Cassandra fell to the ground temporarily knocked out from the force of the blow.

The crowd roared around them at Scarface's victory. Leliana and Amira rushed into the cage and half carried a dazed Cassandra out. As they moved towards the door the gang leader intercepted them. “I believe you owe me some money.” Leliana glared, but nonetheless handed him the money he was owed. “Good. Now get the fuck out of my bar.”

***

It took a lot of maneuvering but eventually they were able to get Cassandra into the van. Amira and Josephine were in the back with her trying to asses the damage that was done to her face. Leliana was in the driver's seat messing around with the seat settings.

“Think we should go to the doctors, she could have a concussion.” Amira said to Leliana.

“Stop fussing so much Mira, I’ve seen Cassandra be hit way harder then what happened back there, she’s going to be fine.” Leliana said waving off Amira’s concerns.

Amira was about to argue with Leliana when the front passenger's door was thrown open and Morrigan hopped in. “Drive. Now.” She ordered locking her door and looking out the window.

“I didn’t hear a please.” Leliana said in a sing song voice.

“Just start the damn car!” Morrigan shouted.

Leliana raised an eyebrow but complied with her request. Just as the where about to pull out of the parking space the back of the van was thrown open and the woman from the cage match popped into view. She chucked a box, a large duffle bag and a backpack into the van and then climbed in as well.

“Drive!” She shouted reaching over to close the door behind her.

“What the fuck? No!” Leliana shouted. “Get out of the damn van, crazy.”  
  
“For fucks sake! Drive the damn car!” Morrigan shouted slamming her fist on the dashboard.

“Ummm Leliana, I think that you should probably listen to Morrigan.” Josephine said nervously looking out the back window. The rest of the group followed her gaze to see Darkspawn pouring out of The Breach and running for their motorcycles. Some of them were shouting and waving guns.

Leliana’s eyes widened and she slammed on the gas and peeled out of the parking lot. “What the hell did you do?” Leliana asked Scarface.

“I may have stolen all of the money they won from the bets tonight…”

“What?” Amira shouted. “These people are going to kill us! Why would you do that?”  
  
The woman shrugged helplessly. “I figured that if I had enough money to pay for gas you guys would let me come with you.” As she said this she popped open the metal box she had brought with her and showed it to them. It was filled with hundred dollar bills. “I’m Neerah by the way.” She said grinning and stretching her hand out for Josephine to take.

Josephine clearly taken aback, tentatively reached out and shook her hand.

“There has to be two-thousand dollars in here. How expensive do you think gas is?” Amira asked bewildered.

Neerah shrugged again. “I wasn’t sure how far you were driving. I wanted to cover all of my bases. So, can I come?”

“Yes.” Leliana answered, her eyes glued to the road ahead.

“Leliana! You cannot be serious? She’s a thief.” Josephine said sounding scandalized.

“She has money and we're gonna need it if we survive this. Besides, someone should have to pay for this trip, and Cassandra’s possible nose surgery.”  
  
Morrigan sighed dramatically from the front seat. “I suppose I can pitch in as well.” With that she threw another wad of cash into the back seat.

“How the hell did you get this?” Amira asked confused.

“I stole it from the till. One of the men gave me the key.” Morrigan replied.

“How did you get the key? I’ve been there for months, no one ever gave me a key.” Neerah said sounding dejected.

“Men are always willing to believe two things about a woman, that she is helpless and that she finds him interesting. It was easy to convince them to give me the key.”

Neerah nodded, looking impressed by Morrigan’s revelation.

A loud bang distracted the group from their current argument. The Darkspawn were gaining and were now firing at them.

“How the _fuck_ did they get guns? This is _Canada_ for fucks sake.” Leliana shouted as she veered right onto the highway.

“The Canadian American border is less 160 kilometers from here. It's not that hard to sneak them across.” Neerah said.

“Yes, and how would know this?” Josephine said narrowing her eyes.

Neerah turkey necked slightly at her accusation. She at least had the decency to look guilty. “Girls gotta eat.” She said giving Josephine a once over.

“Keep it in you pants. We have bigger problems right now!” Leliana shouted from the driver seat.

More gunfire could be heard behind them as Leliana pulled onto the Trans-Canadian highway. The group in the back ducked down low to avoid any rickashays.   
  
“We need to lose them!” Amira shouted.

“And how do you suggest that?” Morrigan sniped a panicked edge to voice. “They are armed and on motorcycles!”

“The duffle bag!” Leliana suddenly shouted.

“My duffle bag pretty much only has money in it.” Neerah said looking at it doubtfully.

“No, not your’s, mine! Amira, grab the bag that Zevran gave me!”  
  
Amira rooted around on the back and finally located the bag. It was surprisingly heavy. She unzipped in and reached inside to pull out… “Fireworks?” Amira said confused, holding up one of the sticks.   
  
Neerah suddenly ripped in out of her hands, wrenched open the back door and lobbed it at one of the bikers with surprising accuracy. It it him in the head causing him to lose control of his bike and wipe out.

“Ok, that’s not exactly what I had in mind, but good throw Neerah.” Leliana said sounding surprised. “Does anyone have a lighter? So you know, we can actually use them for their purpose.”  
  
Morrigan reached into her shirt pocket and pulled out a lighter. She passed it back to Amira. Together Neerah and Amira started lighting and throwing fireworks at the Darkspawn as they raced down the highway at 90 km an hour.

“Why the hell do you even have a bag of fireworks?” Amira shrieked as she threw a particularly well aimed firework at one of the biker's tires. The firework exploded in a flurry of colours, the man screamed at he flew headfirst over the handlebars.

“Zevran wanted me to test them out. Although I doubt this is what he had in mind…”  
  
“Why would he want you to- you know what, nevermind. I don’t even care right now.”   
  
“It looks like they are giving up!” Josephine said pointing. She was right, apparently they had lost enough of their men along the highway that the Darkspawn had decided to fall back.

“Oh thank god!” Leliana said looking at the roof in relief. “We are starting to get low on gas and I really didn’t want to have to stop if _that_ was still going on.”

The rest of the group nodded in agreement. Amira reached over and pulled the back door shut, locking it. Everyone else seemed to be relaxing and trying to catch their breath. Miraculously, Cassandra had managed to sleep though the excitement of the night.

“We are never, ever. Going to a bar again.” Josephine declared. The rest of the group nodded in agreement.


	6. Chapter 6

Puttt putt-

The engine once again made the horrible sputtering sound. The whole van groaning in protest as it continued its trek along Lake Superior. They had just passed into a town called Thunder Bay.

“Okay, not to be that guy, but we really need to stop.” Amira said nervously casting a glance around the van. Currently Morrigan was in the front seat filing her nails. Josephine was driving. Cassandra was sitting across from Neerah scowling at her, she was still sore over losing the cage match to her. Leliana was reading (something that Amira was pretty sure was in Russian) and Neerah seemed to be meditating, although she could just have been sleeping.

“You worry to much Amira, the van is going to be fine.” Leliana assured without looking up from her reading.

“I think I worry a sufficient amount considering we were just were in a car chase, and got shot at by bikers.”

“I agree with Amira, we should stop. It sounds like something is wrong with the belt conveyor.” Neerah said, apparently she had actually been meditating.

“Oh, and how is it you know this?” Cassandra asked suspiciously glaring at Neerah.

“I’m a mechanic, or a mechanic's apprentice. I worked for a mechanic, is what I mean. If we stop I can get under the van. Take a look at whats going on.”

“You are not going anywhere near my car.” Cassandra said darkly.

“Oh get over yourself.” Morrigan said turning around. “The van has been acting weird since the bikers and I for one have no wish to be stranded in the middle of nowhere with you bunch. If Neerah says she can fix whatever is wrong with the van I say we let her.”

“I hate to agree with Morrigan,” Amira began reluctantly “but I agree with Morrigan. Shouldn’t you trust her with your car more because she bested you in combat or something anyway?” If Amira was being totally honest she sometimes thought of Cassandra as one of those knights from legend of old. Well, if you replaced horses with a weird van and jousting with like, hockey and punching people. It was the honor and chivalry thing she was getting at mostly. And maybe the smell, hockey gear had a very particular stank that she imagined was reminiscent of a period accurate ren faire.

“Fuck it. Josephine, turn in here.” Morrigan ordered pointing at a rather rundown looking hotel. Josephine hesitated for a moment but finally followed her instructions and turned into the parking lot.

We’ll see if we can get some rooms, it’s late and we should stop anyway. Neerah you get under the van and see if you can figure out what's wrong. Josephine stay with the van and make sure she doesn't drive off with it.” Leliana delegated sounding exasperated.

***

The man standing behind the front desk in the eerily lit lobby looked sort of like he might be mistaken for a hobo if his clothing was less clean. His smile was serene, his hands were clasped behind his back, and the fluorescent lightning reflected off his bald head in a way that made Amira wonder if he shined it. “Welcome to Uthenera, your premier stop on the way to Area 51.”

“We’re in Canada.” Amira pointed out redundantly. The proprietor simply continued to stare at them serenely, though something about his air made Amira feel like he was judging them. “It’s Area 51 in, um, Nevada?” He chuckled in a way that had Amira bristling, like he thought she was being cute. The way one might indulgently laugh at a child who said something that was funny only because they didn’t know better. Amira tried not to huff.

“We need two rooms for the night.” Leliana cut in, either too tired for this nonsense or just knowing Amira well enough to know she didn’t react well to being talked down to and giving her an out. Amira thought it was probably a bit of both.

“Of course” he said, inclining his head without taking his eyes off of them, before scribbling something in a book and pulling out a few keys. “I am Solas, if there are to be introductions.”

“That’s nice.” Leliana replies coolly, taking their keys and handing over payment. She very pointedly doesn’t offer her own name, and something in Solas’ smile suddenly seems sharp. Amira doesn’t glance back as she follows Leliana back to the van.

***

Amira, Cassandra and Morrigan went to go check out the rooms they had gotten. Leliana wandered back over to the van to see if Neerah had made any progress with it. She snickered to herself at the sight before her. 

Neerah had pulled the jack out of the van to lift it up, probably to get a better view. And speaking of views, Neerah removed her sweater and was working a tank top that showed off quite an impressive set of muscles. Currently she was on her back underneath the van doing who knows what. Josephine was sitting on the ground beside her staring at her biceps with a rather dreamy look on her face.

“How it going?” Leliana asked. Josephine startled clearly not having heard her approach. Neerah wiggled back out from under the van and stood up. Josephine followed suit, her eyes glued to a patch of skin that was revealed where her shirt was rucked up.

“It’s ok. The belt conveyor is loose and a pipe was nicked by what looks to be a bullet. I can fix both of these problems before we leave in the morning.”  
  
“Great.” Leliana said smiling at Neerah. She then turned to Josephine. “Josie, would you like to help me get some ice for the room?”   
  
“I’m ok Leliana. I think I will just stay here and guard the van.” Josephine said her eyes watching as Neerah bent over and started rooting around in the van for some sort of tool.

“I really need your help with the ice.” Leliana emphasized. Josephine nodded and followed her, saying a quick goodbye to Neerah before she left. They arrived at the ice machine wordlessly, Josephine pulled grabbed one of the buckets and started to fill it with ice.

“So, you and Neerah?” Leliana said grinning mischievously.

Josephine gave her a confused look. “I have no idea what you are talking about.”

“Oh don’t play coy with me. I saw the way you were looking at her. The only thing you wanted to guard was her abs with your tongue.” Josephine blushed beet red and looked down quite embarrassed at Leliana’s observation. “Not that Neerah would mind. I’m sure she would quiet enjoy it if her constant, and rather bad flirting is anything to go by.”  
  
Josephine frowned slightly at that. “I’m not sure what you mean? Neerah isn’t interested in me.”   
  
Leliana blinked slowly. Josephine had never been good at telling when someone was interested in her. Her father was an important member of the government and in the past people had tried to use Josephine to help their positions. After a while Josephine had started to ignore it and then most likely, had forgotten how to even recognize it.

“Neerah has been flirting with you since she climbed into the car! She’s not exactly subtle. The woman is a complete disaster.”  
  
Josephine stared at Leliana for a minute. “I don’t understand what you are saying.”

“She wants to bone you!” Leliana exclaimed.

“Leliana I love you, but I don’t understand what you’re trying to say right now.”  
  
“Neerah wants to have _sex_ with you!!!”   
  
Josephine sighed sadly. “I guess we’ll never know.” With that she left the room taking the ice with her. Leliana let out a frustrated scream and banged her head on the ice machine.

***

Amira had always been curious. Sometimes that was good for her, curiosity was a cornerstone of good research, curiosity was what lead you to ask questions you hadn’t already decided answers to, curiosity was why she had her position as Dr.Irving’s TA and research assistant. Curiosity was also why she’d ended up falling down a well when she twelve and broken her wrist. Good or bad though the real point was Amira had poor impulse control when it came to her curiosity and it was why she was wandering around, alone, in a motel in the middle of nowhere and at God only knew what hour.

This place felt like a mystery (and there was definitely no appeal in focusing on that, rather than pointedly not thinking about the fact that she was driving across country to tell a guy not to move to another country because she loved him. Nope. Definitely no reason to be panicking about that thought and avoiding it.)

“You’re not too short for him. He likes how small you are. All that power contained in an incredible woman.” Amira whipped around at the sound on a voice behind her, and just barely stopped herself from punching the boy behind her in the throat.

“Jesus Christ, don’t sneak up on people like that!” she cried, clutching her heart.

“I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.” The boy was soft-spoken, lanky and a little gaunt, but mostly Amira’s mind just wanted to describe him as floppy. It was the hair she decided, and maybe his posture; he was hunched over to look at her but he still towered over her. “People just don’t usually notice me.”

“Right, no it’s fine.” Amira rubbed at her forehead as her brain caught up to his first statement. “Wait, wait, back it up what was that about me not being too short?” She must have misheard him, right? Because if she hadn’t he almost sounded exactly like he was reassuring her about something she’d said in her apartment, days ago, in British fucking Columbia. Amira eyed him warily, but he still didn’t seem any more threatening to her the basset hound puppy so she didn’t know what to think.

“You were sad. I wanted to help. I like to help.” Amira felt whatever wariness she was clinging to softening in the face of that.

“Well, I can appreciate that at least.” He can’t be that much younger than her, but she still sort of wants to wrap him up in a blanket and maybe get him some soup. “What are you doing out here anyway?” She hadn’t thought she’d seen any other cars in the motel’s parking lot, which was sort of weird if she thought about it too long. She tried to let it go because they were in the middle of nowhere though. “Are you staying here with your family? Friends?” He looked like he could be in college, maybe. Or he could just be a very tall highschooler.

“I’m Cole. I live here.” he declared. “With Solas.”

Amira frowned. “I see.” She didn’t.

“You don’t.” he agreed.

The sound of rhythmic chanting drew Amira’s attention away from Cole. She looked out the open door to see Solas walk by dressed in what looked to be some sort of bathrobe medieval armor combination. In his hands he was holding some sort of plasma ball. He had also painted an extra set of four eyes onto his face.

“What the actual fuck.” Amira whispered with feeling. “What kind of French even is that?” It was mostly a rhetorical question, like how she was mostly sure he was speaking French, and was entirely sure that wasn’t the most pressing issue with what he was doing.

“He’s from Montreal, they do things differently there.”

“Avoid Montreal, noted.”

“I should go. Solas will need my help with the ceremony. We’re going to astral project into the dreamscape realm.”

“Hey, are you okay?” Amira asked, grabbing his arm before he could leave. “Do you, do you need… is there anyone I should call for you? Anyone who’s missing you?”

“You’re worried about me.” He said it with a novel sort of delight that made her worry more. “You think I’m helpless, but I’m the helper. I’m where I need to be.” He slipped out of her grasp. “You don’t have to worry, about me or him.” Cole disappeared around a corner before Amira could do anything else, and suddenly she didn’t want to be out here alone.

***

“I think this is a cult.” Amira declared without preamble as she opened the door to Cassandra, Morrigan, and Neerah’s room. “Or this place is haunted. Maybe both.”

“We can go if you want? I fixed the van.” Neerah offered.

“Maybe. No.” Amira hesitated. “I kind of want to look around some more? And there’s this kid, teenager, I don’t know if I feel comfortable just leaving him.”

“Is he under the age of 18?” Morrigan asked from where she lounged on the bed, reading some sort of book. It looked like it was in latin.

“I don’t know, I didn’t ID him.”

“If he’s a child we call the police, if he’s an adult there is nothing you can do. Leave this be.”

Amira sighed, unfortunately Morrigan was right. Cole was most likely an adult. An incredibly strange one, but an adult none the least. “Should we be at least concerned that this motel might be a front for a cult.”

“No.” Morrigan said sounding rather annoyed. “Just go to bed and stop worrying about things you cannot control.”

“Unfortunately Morrigan is right. There is nothing we can do to help the boy or stop a cult.” Cassandra said regretfully.

Amira huffed annoyed by the lack of help she was getting. “Fine. I’m going to talk to Leliana and Josephine, hopefully they will be more helpful than you three.”  
  
“Tell Josephine hi for me.” Neerah called from the bed where she was channel surfing.

Amira made a face and then left the room. She walked across the courtyard to where the room she was sharing with Leliana and Josephine was located.

“I am telling you that she wanted to bed you over a table and fuc- oh hey Amira, you finished exploring the hotel?” Leliana asked an all to innocent look on her face. Josephine was sitting on the bed opposite Leliana was a deep frown on her face. She looked like she was in the middle of trying to solve a very complex puzzle.

Amira huffed and flopped down on the bed beside Josephine.”I met a boy.” She started.

“Oh no, absolutely not! We are not driving across Canada for you to meet some other boy when we're in the home stretch. Dump him. Now.” Leliana ordered.

“What? No, it’s not like that. He works he and he seems really nice and I think he might be a prisoner here or something? Also this place may be a front for a cult. It’s hard to tell.”Amira said frowning slightly. “Oh, also Neerah said I should tell you hi, Josephine.”  
  
“Really?! What exactly did she say?” Josephine said looking incredibly excited.

“Umm, she just said to say hi?” Amira said slightly confused.

“See! I told you she liked you!” Leliana said exasperated.

“She’s just being nice. Let's not read into it.” Josephine said smiling slightly.  
  
“We could read into it a little bit.” Leliana needled.

“Ok, can we get back to the fact that there is a kid here that may be a prisoner?” Amira said exasperatedly.

“I’m not a kid. And I’m not a prisoner. I’m here because I want to be. And I get to help Solas. This is good, and I want to do good things.”

Everyone jumped at the sound of another voice. They turned to look at the door that Amira had apparently forgotten to close behind her.

“You needed an extra towel. I brought you an extra.” Cole said smiling dreamily.

“Um, thank you. I guess we’ll see you around?” Leliana said uncertainly, taking the towel from Cole.

“Will you?” Cole asked sounding genuinely curious. With that he turned and left the group alone.

Leliana had an almost constipated expression on her face as she tried to process that interaction. Upon seeing the hopeful look on Amira’s face her expression hardened slightly. “No, absolutely not. We are not kidnapping an adult man just because you feel sorry for him.”

Amira huffed slightly annoyed that no one seemed interested in helping Cole. “Fine, what were you guys talking about anyway?”

Josephine’s eyes widened slightly at the question. “Nothing!” She answered all too quickly.

Amira raised her eyebrows disbelievingly. Josephine was an incredible diplomate, but when it came to straight up lying she wasn’t always the best. Especially when it was personal matters.   

“I’m trying to convince Josie that Neerah has a crush on her.” Leliana pipped in.

“Oh fun! I want to help!” Amira said grinning and hoping slightly on the bed. Beside her Josephine groaned and flopped face first onto the bed.

Amira and Leliana laughed. They spent the rest of the night embarrassing each other and watching old reruns of Degrassi High.


	7. Chapter 7

Amira was getting antsy, they had just arrived in Rossport and would be in Toronto in about a day. This meant that she would have extra time to spend with Cullen and work up the courage to tell him how she felt. Right now, she felt nauseous. 

Leliana suddenly banged on the passenger window. “Come on!” She shouted her voice slightly muffled. “Pull your head out of the clouds, were gonna grab some snacks and get back in the road.”

Amira nodded and slowed opened the door and climbed out. The rest of the party was already moving about. Cassandra was already in the store grabbing as much food as she could carry. Morrigan had already disappeared, which was not entirely unusual for her. Neerah was stretching out after being in such a cramped space for so long, and Josephine was watching her with rapt attention while Leliana tried to contain her laughter. 

“So Neerah, what are you planning to do once we get to Toronto?” Leliana asked smirking slightly. Amira’s eyes narrowed, she was up to something.

“Umm I’m not sure. Eat some poutine maybe? What are you guys going to do?” Neerah asked standing fully, she had finished stretching.

“Well, after Amira tells Cullen how she feels and everything sorts itself out, we’re going to drive back to Vancouver. You know, for school and stuff.”

“Cool, I’ll probably keep going East to P.E.I. I want to see what the deal is with that Anne of Green Gables chick.”

“You know she’s not real right?” Amira asked concerned. “It’s very important to me that you know she’s not real.”

Neerah was about to answer when she was interrupted by Josephine. “You’re  _ leaving _ ?” She asked clearly upset by the news. 

“Well, I mean probably. I doubt that you all want me hanging around while you’re driving back or when you’re in school and stuff…” 

Suddenly Morrigan can storming back from who knows where. She, unsurprisingly, looked incredibly pissed off. “Where’s Cassandra? I want to leave this place.” 

“She’s still inside, chill. Wait a sec, is that a cat in your arms?” Amira asked pointing.

Morrigan blinked and then looked down as if just remembering that she had been holding a living creature in her arms. “Oh, yes. This is Kieran. He’s mine now.”   
  
“What do you mean  _ now _ ?” Leliana asked, her eyes narrowing. 

“Hey! Give me back my cat!” A rather cross looking man can hobbling around the corner of the store.

Morrigan held the cat closer and glared. “I think not. You were incredibly inappropriate. The cat is recompense for your behavior.”

“I’m sure we can work something out.” Josephine said stepping in, hoping to smooth things over between the two.

“He thought I was a prostitute and propositioned me.” Morrigan snarled.

“Can you blame me? You are in Canada and you are wearing a bikini top! People don’t just wear that. I think we’re even. You kicked me in the balls rather hard.” He said flinching slightly at the memory.

Morrigan smirked at that. “The cat makes us even. I kicked you in the balls as a bonus.”   
  
“Listen to me you witch, I want Ser Pounce-a-lot back and I want him back now!”   
  
“Anders?” Cassandra said looking entirely shocked. She had just come out of the store her arms laden with food and snacks. Anders blinked just as surprised to see her.

“Cassandra? What are you doing out here in Ontario?”

“We are going to Toronto. Why are you out here?”

“I’m heading to Montreal, I was catching a protest at Dryden. How have you been? I haven't seen you since the break-up.”   
  
“At the mention of a breakup Amira, Josephine and Leliana heads essentially did an immediate 180 degree turn to look at Cassandra. 

“Breakup?” Leliana asked clearly interested.

“It was a long time ago. We do not need to speak of this ever again.”

Leliana looked like she was about to protest. 

“Hey, can I bum a ride off of you? We’re kind of going the same direction. I’ll do some of the driving to chip in.” Anders offered eagerly. 

“Absolutely not! He is both rude and smarmy.” Morrigan protested.

“I don’t think that's a word…” Neerah muttered.

Josephine reached over and patted her hand smiling slightly. “It’s a word.” Neerah flushed slightly at the contact. “As for Anders presence on this trip, I do not object to it.”

Neerah and Leliana nodded in agreement. 

“Cassandra if you’re ok with it then I am as well. Morrigan can just deal with it.” Amira added. 

Cassandra made a slightly annoyed noise and then finally nodded her agreement. “Very well. You may come with us to Toronto. After that you are on you own.”   
  
“Of course, absolutely. You won’t have any trouble from me.”

Morrigan scoffed at his comment. “Fine you can come. But the cat is mine now.” Before anyone could protest she climbed into the back of the van and shut the door.

“I think we should probably get going. We have a lot of ground to cover.” Leliana said walking towards the driver's seat. Everyone else nodded in agreement and followed suit. 

***

“... So what's the deal with you and the girl who sounds like some sort of diplomat?” Anders asked Neerah quietly a few hours later. Leliana was driving and Josephine was sitting up front with her. Amira, Cassandra, Anders and Neerah were crammed into the back. Morrigan was sitting in the back too, off to side cuddling with Kieran. It would seem that she had taken a liking to the cat. Despite asking the question rather quietly, it was more then likely the Josephine and Leliana had heard it judging by the fact that they had become quiet still. 

Neerah for the moment played dumb, her eyebrows knit together and she sent him a confused look. “Who?”

“Ummm Jo… Josephine. Sorry lots of new names to remember. So what’s the deal? I see the way you look at her. How long have you been dating?”

“Oh, um. We are not…” Neerah said awkwardly, flushing slightly.

“Oh! So you just like her. Okay yeah. That makes a lot more sense.” Anders said chuckling slightly. 

“What do you mean that  _ makes a lot more sense _ ?” Cassandra cut in.

“Oh come on Cassandra. You know I’m totally all for it personally, I’ve got a boyfriend myself. I just, I can understand why Josephine may not be interested. The world’s not exactly ready for the idea of same sex couples. Especially one that’s between- well you know.” Anders said smiling weakly. 

“No, we really don’t.” Amira said deadly quiet.

“...Well, because they’re... brown, most people won’t want to see that.”

Immediately the brakes were slammed on. Casandra and Amira shouted as everyone in the back was thrown out. As they started to untangle themselves the back door was thrown open and a furious Leliana came into view. She reached in and wrenched Anders out of the van. He stumbled out, before he could gain his footing Leliana punched him, hard. 

Morrigan you’re driving. You can trade off with Anders after midnight. Both of you get in the front.” Leliana ordered. 

“Me? Why do I have to?” Morrigan asked sounding truly affronted. 

“You haven’t driven a single mile since you joined us. Also you should have knocked Anders out and stolen his cat instead of kicking him in the balls.” With that Leliana threw the keys at Morrigan and climbed in the back. Josephine had already climbed over the seat as was sitting in the back not quite looking at Neerah. 

Morrigan huffed in annoyance and climbed into the driver's seat, a groaning Anders right behind her. 

“No talking.” Morrigan ordered him. Anders flipped her off and stared out the window sulking. 

***

Several hours later Morrigan pulled over so that Anders and her could switch seats. The rest of the group was sound asleep in the back. They climbed back in and Anders started the car.

“I thought they were being a little unfair to you.” Morrigan said suddenly. Anders looked at her surprised. “You are right, racism is prevalent, even in Canada. As is homophobia. People  _ won't _ want to see that.”   
  
“That’s what I was trying to say, not they they shouldn’t do it. People should take what they want. Consequences be damned.” Anders said angrily.

“Agreed. I’ve been traveling with these people for days. They are to nearsighted to see the big picture. They just squabble like children. I will be glad to rid of them.” 

Anders grunted in agreement, but said nothing. 

“If I were you, I would think long and hard about what you want. Otherwise you will never get to where you want to go.” With that Morrigan grabbed a jacket and balled it up against the window. Using it as a makeshift pillow. A rather devious smirk on her face. 

Anders just stared at the road ahead of him. It was 3am and he was thinking long and hard about what  _ he _ wanted.


	8. Chapter 8

“What the fuck?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCKING FUCK!!!”   
  
Amira jerked awake, looking around groggily. She was alone in the van. Outside she could hear Leliana shouting expletives and what sounded like Anders protesting, he was saying something about following his dreams. Amira climbed out of the van to a rather unusual sight.

Leliana was shouting at Anders who was cowering away from her. Josephine was running around the van in rather panicked circles while Neerah followed, trying to calm her down. Cassandra on the other hand was staring blankly at a sign, which was written in French, and that was...odd… The only person whom didn’t seem vaguely freaked out was Morrigan who was quite focused on her new cat. 

“Umm… what’s going on?” Amira asked confusedly looking around. Weird, Toronto looked much older than she had imagined. Everyone who talked about the city always said that it looked like something out a sci fi movie. And where the hell was the CN Tower?

“This- this- Gah! I can’t even say I am so mad right now!” Leliana shouted throwing her hands up in the air and storming off. 

“It would seem that Anders took it upon himself to drive us to Montreal. Instead of Toronto.” Cassandra supplied. Shooting Anders a furious look. 

“You’re all acting like I blew up a church or started a war. All I did was take a slight detour.” Anders protested.

“I slight detour! YOu  _ drove _ us to MOTHERFUCKING MONTREAL. AND TO  _ OLD _ MONTREAL! It’s the  _ armpit _ of Canada.” Leliana shouted.

“I fail to see why it’s so bad here.” Morrigan spoke, more focused on Keiran than anything else. 

“Image someone walked up to you and started speaking in Shakespearean prose. Now convert that to French. That’s the type of language barrier we are dealing with here. Neither I nor Leliana are equipped to navigate this part of the city.” Josephine spoke. She had finally stopped pacing.

“Hmm I suppose that could be a problem.” Morrigan conceded. 

“Look you’re all overreacting. Navigating this city isn't that hard.” Anders cut in. “God they way you’re all carrying on about it you’d think it’s the end of the worl-”   
  
WHAM!   
  
Leliana punched him in the face. Hard. Anders stumbled back into the street, Leliana approaching him menacingly.    
  
“I am not going to take a beating lying down!” Anders shouted running at her.    
  
He and Leliana ran at each other meeting in the middle. Both were surprisingly adept fighters. Leliana had clearly taken some self defense classes and Anders… well he seemed to be a hair puller. Before anyone could break up the fight a shrill whistle filled the air. 

A mountie came riding up on a horse. She shouted something in French but all she got where vaguely confused looks from the rest of the group who weren't fighting. She sighed and dismounted her horse running over to Leliana and Anders and wrenching them apart. “ENOUGH!” She shouted in english, albeit with quiet an accent. “You are two under arrest for public disturbance!”   
  
“You can’t be serious!” Cassandra protested running up to the woman. 

“Do you want to make it three?” The woman asked threateningly. “For christ sake, it’s not even 8 o’clock yet.”

Behind her a small police car pulled up. A man got out and started to help her handcuff Anders and Leliana. 

“Please, Officer… Vallen.” Josephine said, squinting as she read her badge. “You cannot arrest our friend. We were just passing through. If you could point the way out of the city we will be gone in no time.” Josephine appealed helplessly as a protesting Leliana and Anders were manhandled into the car.

“I will do no such thing. You can come and post their bail at the police station, but I am not just going to let them walk.” The woman said re-mounting her horse. “And it’s Officer Hendyr to you.” With that she rode off after the squad car.

“Well, what are we going to do now? We can’t go without Leliana. And we need to figure out how to leave this godforsaken place.” Amira asked. 

“I think I might know a way to get Leliana out of jail. Amira, Josephine, Morrigan and Neerah, you can all ask around and try and find directions out of the city.” Cassandra ordered.

“Do you want someone to come with you?” Amira asked slightly concerned for her friend.

“No, this is something I must do myself.” With that Cassandra turned and walked away. The rest of the group watched her slightly bewildered.

“Oookay… that was kinda weird. I think we should split up into groups of two. We can cover more ground this way. There must be someone in this city who can speak normal French.” Amira suggested. 

“I’ll go with Neerah.” Josephine volunteered perhaps a little too quickly. Before anyone could protest she grabbed a rather bewildered Neerah and dragged her down the street. 

“Ok I guess that means that you and I are stuck together.” Amira said to Morrigan.

“So it would seem.” Morrigan opened the car door and reached in pulling out a backpack. In one swift movement she opened in and placed Keiran inside of it. “Let's go then.”

Before Amira could speak a young man about their age approached them. He was slightly taller than Morrigan with dark hair and blue eyes. He was rather pale and seemed to be missing a large part of each of his ears. He stared wordlessly at Morrigan for a moment and then held out a bowl of what seemed to be slightly soggy poutine. 

“Um… Morrigan, why is this strange man offering you poutine?” Amira asked completely lost as to what was happening. 

“No idea, come on let's go. With that she took off down the street, Amira running to keep up with her. 

***

Neerah and Josephine had been walking for about forty minutes. Despite Josephine enthusiastic declaration that Neerah would go with her, she had become quiet once they were alone. Needless to say the silence between them was starting to become awkward. 

They wandered through the city rather aimlessly, occasionally asking if anyone spoke english, or at least normal french. All they got were blank looks. One person threw a hocky puck at Neerah’s head. So yeah, Montreal was kinda the pits. Eventually they wandered into a rather nice park near a lake.

“Can we stop for a moment? I am rather tired.” Josephine asked pointing at a bench near lake.

“Ummm sure…” Neerah said eyeing the geese nesting nearby carefully.

Josephine sat down and Neerah followed suit, making sure to put a respectable amount of distance between them. Despite all her talk, she had no desire to imped on Josephine’s boundaries, especially if she wasn’t interested. Which, considering that she had said nothing to indicate otherwise, seemed to be the case. 

“Are you really going to continue on to P.E.I. after we are done in Toronto?” Josephine asked suddenly, staring at Neerah intensely.

Neerah frowned slightly staring at the ground and thinking hard. “Well… I was kind of thinking that once we got Leliana out of jail I would go my own way. It doesn't really make sense for me to go backwards. And I don’t really have any reason to stay.”

“I see...” Josephine said after an extended silence. Neerah nodded still looking at the ground. “You should stay!” Josephine suddenly blurted out. Neerah’s head whipped up and she stared at Josephine wide eyed. “With me- I mean us. I mean, not here in Montreal. This place is horrible.”

Neerah smiled slightly. “Ok, I’ll stay.” 

“Good.” Josephine breathed out a relieved sigh. “I- I mean, Cassandra would have missed you terribly. She’ll be glad you are staying on.”   
  
“Right, Cassandra. Whose nose I broke in a cage match a few days ago.” Neerah said with a shit eating grin on her face. Josephine flushed red at being caught in her lie. Neerah just smiled widely and didn’t say anything. It would seem that she may have been wrong about Josephine’s interest. 

Josephine opened her mouth to say something, when suddenly Neerah let out a shout and dove backwards out of the bench into the bushes behind it. Before Josephine could question what the hell had just happened Neerah had grabbed her and dragged her backwards over the edge of the bench.

“What? What is it? Are the bikers back?” Josephine asked slightly panicked.

“No. Worse.” Neerah said peeking over the back of the bench. 

Josephine looked as well, but all she saw were geese. “Neerah, all I see Canadian geese. What are we hiding from?” 

“We’re hiding from the geese, clearly.” Neerah said as if it was most obvious thing in the world. 

“Are- are you afraid of geese?” Josephine asked rather uncomprehendingly. This woman fought in cage matches, threw fireworks at armed motorcycle men, and could fix cars. But she was afraid of geese.

“I don’t trust them, I never have. Especially not after what happened the last time.” Neerah muttered eyeing the grey monsters. 

“The last time?” Josephine asked confused. “What happened the last time?”   
  
“Oh umm, you know… stuff.” Neerah said vaguely scratching her face and looking slightly embarrassed.

Josephine’s eyes widened as she put it together. “Oh. my. God. Neerah, did you get that scar on your face from a goose attack?” 

Neerah’s red flush was all the confirmation Josephine needed. She burst out laughing.

“It’s not funny.” Neerah muttered. “It was very traumatic for me. I was eighteen!” This only seemed to make Josephine laugh harder. “Ok you know what. I take it back. I don’t like you anymore. I’ll just crush on Leliana or something.”   
  
That stopped Josephine's laughter quite quickly. “You will do no such thing!” 

“I don’t know…” Neerah needled an amused smirk on her face. “I think I could get into it. She’s a redhead but we can work through that. And she’s got the French thing going which is a plus. I mean her accent isn’t as sexy as your’s but it’s nice.”

Josephine stared at her for a long moment. “You think my accent is sexy?” She asked slightly dumbfounded.

“Josephine, it would honestly be easier to list the things I find unattractive in you then the things I do. The amount of unattractive things being zero. Obviously.” 

Josephine watched Neerah for a long moment. Then suddenly she grabbed her and kissed her hard. Neerah didn’t move for a second, she had not expected that of all things to happen. Once her brain caught up she responded with equal vigor. Josephine growled slightly and climbed onto Neerah’s lap pulling her muscle shirt off in one fluid movement. Neerah grinned into the kiss and started pushed off Josephine's jean jacket. 

Josephine pulled back to help her with the jacket. As she did she finally got a good look at Neerah’s abdomen. She’d seen her arms several times and they were quite nice. The rest of her upper body did not disappoint. Tentatively Josephine reached over and touched her six-pack. “These are nice…” Josephine muttered.

“Your hands are cold.” Neerah responded with a deadpan expression.

“Really? Where in the middle of a rather passionate…” Josephine trailed off trying to think of the right word.   
  
“Canoodling?” Neerah asked grinning.

Josephine’s eyes narrowed slightly. “Yes, and you choose now to make a joke?”    
  
“I have been told my timing leaves something to be desired. I have also found that the best way to stop it from happening would be kissing.” Neerah said grinning cheekily.

Josephine rolled her eyes, grinning. “Well if you insist.” She mumbled leaning back in and kissing Neerah again. This time she moaned slightly as Neerah pulled her closer, the kiss heating up quickly. Josephine reached down to start to undo Neerah’s pants when a shrill whistle pierced the air. 

***

Amira huffed in annoyance. Her and Morrigan had been wandering around the city for what felt like hours. The strange man who had offered Morrigan a bowl of poutine was clearly following them. He would keep popping out from behind things and offering Morrigan random, but clearly Canadian themed items. Morrigan seemed nonplussed about the whole situation and simply ignored him.

“Are we really going to just keep ignoring this creepy dude? Shouldn’t we tell the police?” Amira asked Morrigan as she eyed the man who was presently trying to make himself scarce behind a trashcan. He was failing horribly.

Morrigan rolled her eyes at the question. “And why would we do that? He’s not hurting anyone.”   
  
“Yeah, but he’s been following us for hours. It’s so creepy. Besides if we find the police we can try and get Leliana out of prison  _ and _ get directions out of this godforsaken city.”

Morrigan was about to respond when a quiet gravelly voice spoke. “You want to leave the city?”   
  
Amira turned around and let out a shout, jumping backwards. The strange man was standing directly behind her, watching them both with a contemplative expression. 

“Shit, you move like a wraith!” Amira saids trying to catch her breath. 

“Sorry, I know the fastest way out of the city. I can show you if you’d like.” He said offering them both a hopeful smile.

“Ok.” Morrigan said clearly disinterested in the whole situation. 

“What! No, are you insane? This guy has been following us around the city for hours.”   
  
“I have not!” The man said clearly offended by the accusation. “You have just happened to be going in the same direction that I have.”

“Well, there you have it. Not a creepy stalker at all. Just a good samaritan wanting to help.” Morrigan said smiling at the man.

“This is insane.” Amira muttered looking around.

“Follow me to freedom!” The man suddenly said. With that he took off down the street. Morrigan not far behind him.

Amira weighed her options for a moment. She could stay where she was and probably be lost forever of follow Morrigan and hope that the strange poutine man doesn't kill them both. With an exasperated sigh she took off running after them. 

After another hour or so of following Poutine Man through the city they wound up in a rather wealthy looking neighborhood. 

“The way out of the city is through here?” Amira asked doubtfully. 

“Yeah, it’s just beyond that house. You’ll be able to see a road that leads directly out of the city. It’s pretty simple from there. Come on.” Poutine Man answered, he then gracefully hopped over a fence, landing in someone else's backyard.

Amira and Morrigan looked at each other. Morrigan shrugged and then followed suit. Amira sighed and with some difficulty was able to hoist herself up over the fence. The three of them started to walk across the backyard of a clearly wealthy person. There was an inground pool and hedges that were cut into the shape of animals.

Suddenly an alarm started blaring causing them all to jump. 

“Shit, that’d be the security system, run Morrigan!” Poutine Man said taking off across the lawn.

“Wait a sec, how does he know your- oph!” Amira was never able to finish her question. Morrigan had spun around quickly and shoved Amira into the pool. 

“Sorry about this, it’s nothing personal!” Morrigan called over her shoulder as she hopped the fence after Poutine Man.

Amira could only watch dumbfounded as she disappeared. After the initial shock wore off Amira swam over to the edge of the pool and climbed out. Before she was even completely out a high pitched whistle sounded through the air. 

A shadow fell over her and Amira looked up, squinting slightly in the late afternoon light.   


“Well well, it would see that we meet again.”

***

CLANG!

The jail cell doors made a resounding noise as they were slammed together. Amira had finally finished her processing and was now in horrible French Canadian jail.

“Amira?” She spun around to see a rather unkempt looking Leliana sitting at the other end of the cell. “What the hell are you doing in here? You’re supposed to be bailing me out if here, not getting arrested like the rest of these idiots.”   
  
Amira raised her eyebrows confused at what Leliana was talking about. “These idiots? I don't know what you mean.”   
  
“She would be referring to us.”    
  
Turning to her left Amira saw a disheveled Josephine and Neerah sitting in the cell next to them.

“Holy shit! What happened to you guys?” Amira asked worried. Josephine had several twigs and leaves in her hair and Neerah was covered in quite a lot of dirt. And seemed to be missing her shirt. Right now she was only wearing a sports bra.

“We were arrested.” Neerah said as if that completely explained everything.

Leliana leaned forward in her seat, grinning wickedly. “Yes and remind us what you two were arrested for again?”   
  
“...Public indecency.” Josephine answered quietly blushing beet red.

Leliana started laughing maniacally. Judging by the looks on the other girls faces this was not the first time she had laughed at them.

“What were you doing? Just like, making out a lot or something?” Amira asked slightly confused. That seemed to be little extreme to warrant an arrest.

“Ummm no… we were arrested because a mountie caught us having sex in a public park.” Neerah answered looking rather embarrassed herself. Leliana just laughed harder, nearly falling off of her bench. “Anyway.” Neerah said louder over Leliana’s laughter. “It was ironically the same mountie that arrested Leliana earlier today who also arrested us.”   
  
“Huh, that same mountie was the one who also arrested me as well.” Amira answered.

“So what are the chances of Morrigan coming and bailing four of us out of jail?” Leliana asked in a more serious tone. 

“I think you mean five.” 

Amira turned to look to her right and saw Anders leaning against the wall in the cell on the other side of her.    
  
At her inquisitive look Leliana explained. “They had to separate us because we kept fighting.”   
  
“Ah,” Amira said nodding. “I would say our chances are not great. Morrigan is pretty much the reason I’m in her. She got me arrested for trespassing.”

“So you’re saying that our hopes lie with Cassandra, who is off on some secret mission that no one knows about.” Leliana summarized.

Amira nodded.

“We’re going to die in here.” Neerah muttered. 

The door to the cell area opened suddenly and the redhead mountie who arrested them walked in followed by Cassandra and a much shorter man. 

“Here she is.” The woman said gesturing to Leliana who stood up at the sight of Cassandra.

“Amira!? Josephine? What are you both doing in jail?” Cassandra asked clearly bewildered.

“Umm… I was arrested for trespassing and Josephine and Neerah were arrested for public indecency.”    
  
Leliana started snickering again at the explanation.

“So Seeker, I’m guessing that you’re going to want me to bail out your other friends as well?” The man asked with an amused smirk on his face. 

“That would be appreciated, Varric.” Cassandra said with a sour look on her face.

“So Aveline, how much is this going to cost me?” Varric asked chuckling slightly. 

“The two arrested for public indecency won’t be that much, unfortunately we need to keep the other girl here.”   
  
“What!? Why?” Amira asked running to the edge of the cell and gripping the bars.

“What can you tell me about these two people?” Avaline asked pulling out two mug shots.

“Uh, that’s Morrigan and the other guy, I have no idea what his name is I’ve been calling him Poutine Man.” Amira supplied.

“Ha, Poutine Man, that’s a good one. I might use it in my next book.”

“Their names are Morrigan and Cassian Tabris. They international jewel thieves. Extremely high profile, and wanted in thirteen different countries. About six months ago the Americans got pretty close to capturing them, but they slipped away. No one has heard from them since. Or at least until now.

“We had no idea about any of this. We picked Morrigan up on the side of the street in Alberta. She said she was going east to meet up with her boyfriend.” Leliana supplied.

Avaline huffed in frustration. “Well, these two just robbed a major property and ran off with nearly half a million in Canadian dollars in diamonds. The same house that I arrested your friends for trespassing on.”

“Ok, you’ve got this all wrong! They tricked me! Cassian told me that if we followed him he would show us how to get out of the city. I had no idea Morrigan even knew him. The next thing I know where in someone's backyard and alarms are going off. Morrigan pushed me into the pool and ran away. That’s all I know.” Amira protested. 

Avaline stared at her with an intense expression. 

“Come one Avaline. They clearly don’t know anything else. Just let her go and we’ll call this a day.” Varric said quietly. 

“Fine.” Avaline finally said. “You’re free to go.” With that she opened the cell doors.

“Hey! What about me?” Anders asked from his cell.

“Merrill and Hawke will be by later today to bail you out.” Varric called over his shoulder. The rest of the group trailed out after him. Before she left Leliana made sure to give him the finger one last time. 

The group left the police station, but not before they were given a stern warning by Aveline. Once outside Varric said his goodbyes to Cassandra and the group and left them with some very detailed instructions on how to get out of the city.

“I'll see you around Seeker.” Varric called before he got into his stretch limo and was driven off to who knows where.

“Was that  _ the _ Varric Tethras?” Leliana asked Cassandra.

“Yes.” Cassandra said shortly.

“And how do you know one of the greatest authors of our generation?” Leliana asked curiously.

“We used to date.” Cassandra bit out. Everyone stared at her dumbfounded. “We will never speak of this again.” She said walking towards the van that was now parked outside of the police station.

“This is the best day ever.” Leliana said quietly.

“You were arrested!” Amira reminded her.

“Oh bite me!” Leliana said grinning affectionately at her. 

***

Thanks to Varric’s directions they hadn’t had much trouble finding their way out of old Montreal. The newer part of the city, while still awful, was much more manageable. They were stopped at a red light when the muffled sound of shouting and banging caused the group to look out the window.

Beside then was food truck that had ‘El Poutine’ spray painted onto the side of it. Morrigan was hanging outside of the window grinning maniacally. She made a gesture for them to roll down the widow. 

Cassandra, who was driving sighed and started turning the crank to roll the window down. 

“Hey thanks for the drive! Without you lot I probably would have been caught by the police or something.” Morrigan called. Beside her Anders cat popped it’s head out and meowed happily. “Oh and Amira, no hard feelings about the arrest right? It was just business.”

Amira who sitting beside Cassandra up front,  just glared and said nothing. 

“Anyway we're off to France, we’re gonna rob the Carlton Hotel!” With that Morrigan sat back down the van and it sped down the road, disappearing into the sunset.

“Uh, should we tell someone about this?” Neerah asked from the back of the van.

“No, I want to see if they can pull it off.” Leliana said grinning. “Besides if we wanted to tell someone we’d probably have to go back into the city, and honestly, I’d rather they steal a small fortune then have to go back into fucking Montreal.”   
  
“Amen to that.” Neerah muttered high-fiving Leliana while the rest of the group nodded.

“I’m glad to see where all on the same page about this.” Cassandra said nodding.

“I”d rather be stuck in that creepy ass motel then be here for another moment.” Amira added. The rest of the group laughed as Cassandra gunned it and headed out of the city. They had a lot of ground to cover if they wanted to make it to Toronto intime.


	9. Chapter 9

With a horrible screeching noise the van sharply pulled onto the curb in front of the Air Canada Centre, causing several pedestrians to back away for fear of being mowed over. The driver's door was flung open, and a disheveled Leliana came sprinting around the side to wrench open the back doors. Cassandra, Amira and Neerah all fell out onto the sidewalk.

Before Amira could even get her footing Leliana had already grabbed her and was dragging her towards the entrance of the building.

“Come on! The game is gonna start soon and we already missed Cullen at his hotel. You gotta talk to him now! Or else we're gonna lose him to the Swedes.” Leliana barked. 

“Lils we don’t have tickets.” Amira hissed, trying to pull back against Leliana’s grip.

Leliana stopped abruptly, and Amira stumbled, trying not to fall over at the sudden change. “You’re giving up!?” Leliana demanded, something wild and more than vaguely frightening in her eyes as she turned to face Amira. “After all that?!”

“What? No! I just mean we need a plan!” 

“Do we have anymore of those fireworks?” Neerah asked. She was leaning against the van an exhausted look on her face, she was also holding Josephine’s hand. It was adorable. 

“I think so.” Leliana said eyeing Neerah. “Why?”

“Well… if you’re all ok with it, I could build a small bomb and use it as a distraction…” Neerah suggested. 

They stared at Neerah for a long moment, before Amira sighed loudly, throwing up her hands.“You know what? Fuck it, why not, we’ve all already been arrested once this trip.”

”That’s the spirit!” Neerah said clapping her hands together. “You will not regret this!”

“We will regret this.” Cassandra muttered to herself.

“How do you know how to build a bomb?” Josephine asked as Neerah climbed into the back of the van and started to grab the fireworks and duct tape.

“Oh, uh the bikers showed me how to make one. They would chuck them into frozen lakes and try and catch the fish as they fell down from the explosion. It was not very effective.”

“I am immediately less confident in this plan.” Amira declared, but made no move to actually stop Neerah.

“I have faith in you my darling.” Josephine said smiling encouragingly at Neerah.

“Aw, thanks babe.” Neerah said grinning. “Also the bombs done.” She said holding up essentially a ball of fireworks duct taped together to what looked to be a small bottle of Molson beer. 

Amira sighed “So how do we actually get in once everyone is, um, distracted?” 

“Cassandra could drive the van through the front door and you could hop out the back while she does doughnuts in the front lobby. I mean Cassandra would probably get arrested, but I feel like that’s fair considering she’s the only one in the group who hasn’t been.” Neerah suggested. Leliana looked like she was considering the idea.

“Or we can just make a run for the door while everyone is heading towards the explosion.” Josephine suggested trying to be the voice of reason in a plan that was quickly starting to spiral out of control. 

“That one.” Amira saiding pointing at Josie. 

“Cool, I’ll go set the bomb.” Neerah volunteered.

“I’ll help.” Josephine offered grabbing Neerah’s arm and pulling her away from the group. “We'll meet up with you after this is over.”

  
“After? We can wait for you and then we can all go in together.” Amira said slightly bewildered.

“Um, no... we’ll just meet up with you after.” Josephine said her voice rising in pitch slightly. Beside her Neerah looked like she had just won the lottery.

Amira opened her mouth to say something else, but Leliana cut her off. “Leave it alone Amira, they’re just gonna go have sex somewhere. Hopefully they won’t get arrested this time” She said snickering.

“Yes, well,” Josephine floundered for a moment before declaring, somewhat flustered “we should really get on with this shouldn’t we? Before Cullen is snatched up by Sweden, yes?” With that Josephine and Neerah quickly disappeared into the crowd. 

“So what now?”

“I suppose we just wait, and try not to look suspicious.” Leliana mused, shooting a look a Cassandra like she knew who the weak link in that part of the plan was.

Before Cassandra could respond a loud explosion went off. It was so powerful that if managed to flip a car that was near it. Alarms and sirens started going off as people ran about trying to understand what was happening.

“Wow, they work fast.” Amira muttered clearly impressed by the pyrotechnic display.

“Yes well, I do suppose they had some motivation for wrapping this up as quick as possible.” Leliana said equally impressed.

“Come on, we should move.” Cassandra said tugging on Amira’s sleeve.  

In all the chaos it was surprisingly easy to slip inside. With the way the rest of this trip had been going Amira had only half expected any plan they came up with to actually work. Maybe things were finally turning around.

***

So things were not turning around. They had made it into the actual venue no problem. The trick was getting down to the locker rooms where Cullen most likely was. Ironically the security was actually tighter the farther into the building they got. It was almost like they didn’t want people causally breaking into the athletes spaces during major sporting events. 

After quite a bit of skilled maneuvering Amira, Cassandra, and Leliana had finally made it to the locker room area. Unfortunately there was yet another security guard, this one standing outside of the entrance to the men’s locker room. 

“Shit! How the hell are we gonna get around this one?” Amira asked, eyeing the guard from around the corner. 

“We could knock him out?” Cassandra suggested sizing the man up.

“What? No! That’s a horrible idea, remember what happened the last time you picked a fight?” Amira asked thinking back the the underground fight ring. “Also we don’t want to get more arrested then we already are probably going to be for this whole debacle.”

Cassandra huffed and crossed her arms, but she didn’t protest. Unfortunately Amira had a point. 

“I will seduce him.”

Amira and Cassandra’s heads turned at lightning speed to look at Leliana flabbergasted. 

“You want… to seduce him?” Amira asked slowly.

“What? No.” Leliana said frowning, she leaned around the corner and eyed him, a gleam in her eye. “I said I  _ will _ seduce him. Plus, I want to see if I got it.”

“It?” Cassandra asked completely at a loss.

“Yeah  _ it _ … oh come on, everyone on this trip has gotten some, Josephine and Neerah are currently getting some, you and that stripper did, and Amira is gonna get it on with Cullen before he runs off with some swanlike goddess of a woman. I just want to put my god given skills of seduction and- frenchiness to use.”

“This is ridiculous.” Amira protested.

“This is happening, toodles.” Leliana said and before either Amira or Cassandra could stop her she was already walking down the hall, putting some extra swing in her hips. 

Both of them could only watch helplessly as Leliana sauntered up to the guard, whispered something in their ear and then grabbed their hand and pulled them down the hallway in the opposite direction. 

“Wow… I can’t believe that actually worked.” Amira muttered. 

“Agreed, now we must take advantage of this opportunity and find Cullen.” Cassandra said grabbing Amira by the arm and pulling her down the hallway. 

It didn’t take them long to reach the locker room proper, only for Amira to abruptly realize they hadn’t actually planned for it to be full of people. Which it was, of course. Because they were getting ready for the game. The players looked just as surprised to see them, a few abruptly covering up various states of undress.

Before Amira could make a bigger fool of herself one of them popped up. “Amira? Cullen didn't say you were coming.” Rylen, the team’s alternate Captain, and in many ways Cullen’s second in command was looking at her curiously. The rest of the team seemed to relax at that, though she wasn’t sure if it was at her name or simply the fact that Rylen seemed to know her. She’d met some of the team before, waited in the stands for Cullen at a few practices. 

“Oh, um. I… didn’t tell him? It was kind of last minute.” Which sounded better than admitting she’d had an emotional crisis and driven across the country to tell Cullen--

“She needs to speak with Cullen. Privately.” Cassandra cut in, her tone broking no room for argument. Amira stared at Cassandra wide eyed, before turning back to the team to hopefully prevent Cassandra from getting into another fight. Cullen would never forgive her if they couldn’t play because half his team was laid up by Cassandra. To her surprise though, no one seemed annoyed, a few looked downright delighted.

Rylen nodded, looking knowing and pleased. “You heard the lady, everybody out.” Amira didn’t know what to make of it. Once the last of the team was out the door Rylen leaned through a door and yelled “Oi! Captain, get your ass out here!” Before making a hasty retreat with with Cassandra, leaving Amira alone in the locker room far faster than she would have thought a team of rowdy hockey boys capable of.

“What do you need Ry--Amira!”

She’d had a plan. She’d definitely had a plan about what she was going to say when she saw Cullen. They’d had a week on the road and even though she’d done her best not to panic, not to overthink things, she had spent more time than she was comfortable admitting working out what she was going to say to Cullen. Unfortunately she hadn’t accounted for having this conversation with Cullen shirtless and her brain leaking out of her ears.

“Where have you been?! I’ve been trying to get ahold of you for the past week, do you know how worried I was?” Cullen marched up to her, looking relieved and concerned and just a bit annoyed as he looked her over to make sure she was really alright. “What are you doing here?” He asked before realizing how that might sound and flushing. Amira couldn’t help noticing he didn’t just blush in his face, his neck and chest flushed as well. “Not that I’m not glad to see you, but I thought, I mean you never said anything about coming…”

“Don’t leave and marry a height appropriate Swedish woman” Amira blurted out, instead of anything that made any kind of sense.

“I, what?” Cullen asked, sounding baffled.

Amira closed her eyes, pained at her complete and total inability to make sense when she was trying to talk about her feelings. “I-- don’t move to Sweden.”

“Who said I was moving to Sweden?” Cullen asked, still sounding confused.

Amira bit her lip. “You said the Swedish team was looking to recruit you, that if today’s game went well… And that would mean you leaving and I don’t, I don’t want to lose you. Not without at least trying, at least telling you…”

“Tell me what?” Cullen prompted taking a step forward as Amira trailed off, having trouble saying the words. He looked nervous and hopeful, and like he was trying desperately to be neither of those. “Amira...”

“I love you.” The words tumbled out over each other fast enough that Amira wondered if they could even be understood. With the way he was staring at her she was even less sure. So with a deep breath she looked up at Cullen, and said carefully, deliberately. “Cullen, I’m in love with you.” Cullen kept stared at her unblinking for long enough that Amira couldn’t  help feeling nervous. “Cullen will you say something please?”

“I’m waiting to wake up.” He blurted out, still staring at her wide eyed. He seemed as surprised by his words as she was. “I- this is usually the part in the dream where I wake up.” Amira blinked, then blinked again as the implications of what he’d said sunk in. With a grin Amira reached forward and pinched him.

“Ow!”

“Not a dream then.” she said with a grin, and Cullen abruptly stopped rubbing the spot she’d pinched to stare at her.

“You love me?” he asked quietly.

“Yeah.”

“Oh thank God.” he breathed, before pulling her into a kiss that left her clutching at his shoulders to stay on her feet. When they finally pulled apart they were both breathless, and grinning at each other like loons.

“About fucking time!” Someone yelled, from the direction of the door, only to be shushed by half a dozen people.

The two pulled apart, and Cullen scrubbed a hand down his blushing face, sounding annoyed. “Alright everybody out.” he called, the majority of the team and Cassandra sheepishly coming out from where they’d been eavesdropping. “Really?”

“Aw come on we couldn’t miss it!” Someone piped up.

“Yeah Cap, you’ve only been mooning over her for what, four years?”

“After all the bus rides we’ve had to hear you go on about her, we couldn’t miss the resolution!” There was a chorus of agreements that left Amira pleased and giggling. After the week she’d spent half convinced Cullen was going to run off with a Swedish supermodel it was good for her ego.

“Okay, okay that enough!” He groaned, bright red. “If you assholes won’t leave we will.” he grumbled, grabbing Amira’s hand.

“Might want to put a shirt on first.” Rylen commented, looking pleased, as Cullen was halfway to pulling her out the door. Cullen froze. Amira hadn’t realised anyone could flush so red.

Amira grinned, while the trip may have been absolute insanity, it was totally worth it.


End file.
